Life in Junky Lane..

Living in the heart of  Junky Town, life gets a tad dreary and not to mention lonely. By lonely I do not mean a lack of friends or family (we shall deal with that later!!), the sheer choices in the Junky Land makes life more complicated than our dear ancestors could have ever imagined it to be.

I mean think about it...in our Junky Town, in my case Delhi ,once you turn 18 a whole plethora of options burst out before you like a jhola full of old and new items and all of them seeming equally note-worthily interesting.  

In this town..you can become a) Doctor b) engineer c) graphic/fashion designer or since you happen to be a girl you may also play havoc with your good for nothing digestive tract and become a supermodel! And while you are at it...as in building and nurturing, what is known in most Junky Towns as a Career and in layman’s terms  a Job, you must hone your extra- curricular skills. And you’ve got to be really good at it!

And while you are pursuing your Career ,if things refuse to work in your favour or if your extra -curricular activities do not match up to the standards of your Junky Town, you can consider tying a rope around your ceiling fan and eventually your head...and thus end your term in the great ol’ Junky Land!

And hanging yourself on the fan is just one of the many options available!!!

Yes...life in Junky Town can get very very loneyly! The sheer Options can make you feel as if your are answering a series of multiple choice questions.. And the plurality of it all, never seems to end!

So what will it be..? A plate full of lip smackin’ Junky Chowmein or an orange juice?

Winters and work

(Obviously, you can understand that work has started again and my agenda remains, Close offices, Ban work!)

They both start with 'W' but are poles apart, like magnets of the same poles, they abhor each other. I mean really, isn't it a herculean task to get up in a winter morning that we add on piles of extra work to this season.
Any little thing you need to do which entails a contact with water, also entails an extra work of heating it up...
If you are not cozily snugged up inside the layers of blankets, an extra work is planning and calculating the exact ratio and line-up of clothes that you need to put on...
And of course, winters mean a little extra bit of hunger, so either you cook extra, order extra or fret extra about all the added tyres to your already growing paunch...
And in office, I'm almost always mentally cursing someone who still feels hot enough to keep the AC on and leaves me uncomfortable and at other times dreaming about tea/coffee/vodka (take your pick) with steaming hot pakodas. The result being, I have to work extra on Friday to actually make up for the whole of the week's target which i spent day-dreaming and writing mindless blog posts... (I can see that thought bubble next to your head now, which says, "Exactly!")

By the way, I'm sure you've noticed the ad on TV which says, "sardiyon may kuch extra chahiye"... I'm planning to sue them for copyright after all the idea is originally mine... I mean, just that I presented it in public a tad too late!

I'm Work-Freeeeeee!

I've done it, I've subdued the monster, I've emerged victorious. I'm a survivor!
Alright, I understand (and probably you do too, by now) that I got a little carried away. Well, that's not an exaggeration if you work in a publishing house and that too on an encyclopaedia. Phew! it is so liberating to have at last met all your deadlines and completed your scheduled work for a print cycle.
The result is an unbelievable, work-free rest of the week. I mean, today's Wednesday and I don't have a-n-y scheduled work for Thursday and Friday. Infact, this pleasant state-of-affairs could infact spill on to the next week. Do you get that, THE n-e-x-t w-e-e-k.
*Yipee*
*Yay*
*Somersault*
*pole vault*
*cowboy cry*
Ok, that's done, I feel better, its like I'm breathing after a long while. I'm writing this blog entry seena taan ke with no nagging worry of completing something that I left in the middle or the fear of my boss finding out I'm playing truant to work.
Blissfully,
Rima (Rhyme)
P.S. All the stunts mentioned have been done theoretically only.

Time Check!

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

"That is the talking clock", the man replied.

"How's it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two AM in the morning!


Well, Time is quite funny! Its bad when the going gets tough in life, amazing at a party, slow when you don't feel like working in office and its fastest when you are enjoying a holiday!
My seven years in a boarding school were supposed to make me realize its value, we had waking up time; PT time; eating time; studying time and reading time, and sleeping time. Everything had been carefully adjusted as per the scientific laws of making grand successes out of normal students.
Coming to Delhi to begin graduation was at a time when colleges seemed custom made only for superior certificates or big pockets, the very first time my parents and I both agreed that studying hard had been a waste of time for me. Still it never really stopped them from pushing me in the same direction in college.

There is also a time when you feel like telling those men in you life to start behaving like one. To treat you as you want them to (many times synonymous with Queen), give you what you want and stop fooling around, only to be told and later agree that it is not possible. They are way less imaginative than those heroes you had read about in books and begin to completely lose the initiative with time.


And then there is the good time... when you are surrounded by people like you, people who love and care for you, I mean friends of course!! That is a good breed of humans, you can complain, talk sense or nonsense, eat with, play with, sing and dance with. Time never changes them actually with calories or wrinkles or even a few more degrees and rarely ever turns them against you.

Today when I write this after being reminded a good many times, and literally being offered a treat for getting my fingers running over the keyboard, I have given it a shot and hope have made some use of my time (there is no doubt that you will feel I have wasted your time after you read this). And if that is how the case may be....

then, i am off......

Post-festive depression!

I'm bored like a puddle, I know that is as meaningless as it can sound but I'm so bored out of my brains, I cannot even seem to construct a decent sentence. I'm actually nodding with sleep in office while I thought of an interesting thing to do in office (obviously apart from work) and Lo! and behold! the only thing interesting to me at this point is plain old CRIBBING, WHINING and BITCHING!
The Durga puja has just concluded and I'm down in the dumps. I hate my *beep* with much more fervour than I did, I find my work more mind-numbingly bore than I did, I'm weighing at least a few kilos more than I did, I'm looking several inches more plump than I did. In short, life after the festivals is much more dull than it was before.
If you want to envision me now, I have my eyes glued to November 5th on the calendar. Thank God, I work in India.
You can't even begin to imagine how much it calms your frayed and frustrated nerves and lets you go along with life as usual. Try it and I assure you its going to be one immense help, drop in choicest abuses and while you're at it invent some. Okay, I'm rambling now!
Turns out, I don't want to work, but I know I just Have to. There is immense pressure of deadline in office and I can't seem to keep my eyes open to do that, the result is a splitting headache and a totally incoherent woman, which is me right now. You know what I'll just shut up.

Supposedly,
Rima or Rhyme or whatever... zzzz........

A While Ago..

Technologically speaking, I think no one can disagree  with the fact that we are moving at the speed of light. However sometimes it’s quite amusing to discover how our language  hasn’t been able to catch up with the changes in the tech world. For example the other day, on my way to office, it occurred to me that there was something really strange about the announcements chanted repeatedly in the metro. The voice repeatedly announces, " Be careful of any suspicious object in the metro for example a toy, briefcase, transistor etc." Though I have heard this announcement at least a million times…and have never thought of it to be strange, it suddenly rang a bell, who the hell uses a transistor these days? 

I do not mean to hurt the sentiments of those who still happen to use one, though I m quite sure if you wish your transistor to be repaired…the technician might just need the help of his boss, who has most likely passed away. And  I m quite sure, just like every other profession, terrorists too boast of their own upward moving career graph! Which terrorist with a promising track record..would plant a bomb in a transistor??

Well on a more serious note, we can safely say that, soon the concept of using a pen and paper to express our thoughts and ideas will seem  archaic and redundant. However will we still use phrases like..  It’s time to" wield the pen?” I think we will. The interesting thing about a phrase is that..it tests our knowledge of History more than our language skills. Hence for those of us..who are left with an extremely confused countenance in the presence of abundant usage of timeless proverbs, idioms and phrases,it’s time to go back a few years and capture those moments in history which have a lot to do with the times we live in ; where a mere touch can do what took a hours a few years back.

In such times, its nice to know that language does not move as fast and acts like a window to our past that we do not want to  forget so soon.

Get Ready for SOME Whining!

The past week has been hectic and so is this week and something tells me, its going to spill on the next week as well. Bah! whatever. With the Durga Puja celebrations in the air, I'm almost feeling the need to be Dashabhuja like Maa Durga!
I have just shifted base from south to west Delhi and the unpacking and rearranging seems to have no end at all. Also, I have had an interlude with almost every man of the trade by now and I know their rate charts by-heart now. Plumber, electrician, laundryman, cablewala, kudawala, property dealer, court clerks, truckwala, load labourers, you name it and I have dealt with them all. All this made me feel, we should all know some amount of skills and what I'm actually meaning to say is that no matter what the proverb said, we got to be, Jack of all Trades—these days.
So, apart from the cooking, cleaning and household stuff and also apart from the horrible software and process related information in your office, you should know some practical skills too.
Basically, I (and that is because the world around me makes me feel so) am asking you to debunk all your previous aims and career idols and look up to someone like Durga Maa.

Having more than a pair of hands is surely useful to you woman!

With exasperation,
Rima.

Just a few hours to go to the start of the much anticipated XIX Commonwealth Games 2010. After earning a substantial amount of brickbats from all quarters of the media, we will finally see the light of the D-day. Be it the money made by the corrupt officials, filthy Games village conditions, toppling of foot-over bridge near the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium, and countless other negative publicity garnered, thanks to the laid back and corrupt attitude of our "honorable" Organizing Committee (OC) officials, let's treat them like an unfortunate event of the past. It's time to put them all behind, and look forward to the Games with a new glint of pride in our eyes.

The opening ceremony, which starts tomorrow at 7 P.M., is hopefully going to be a must watch event. About 7000 women, children and men, will be participating in the ceremony, showcasing the rich Indian tradition in a unique and never-before-seen manner. I do wish, very fervently, in fact, that the opening ceremony kick-starts on a positive note and with fresh vibrancy, thus setting the right pace for the next leg of the Games. It is indeed a matter of pride for us Indians, that such a coveted event is happening in India. All eyes are now on tomorrow's gala opening ceremony, and i hope to watch the event live on television as a proud Indian, right from start till the end. Jai Hind.

Settling in

Finally, we are here. After days of speculation, coining in an appropriate name for the blog, we've eventually forayed into the excited world of blogging. "Junky Chowmein"-- seems the most apt name for the blog, since most of us here are fond of eating junk food, enjoying our life to the hilt, without caring much about the unwanted weight that we might be putting on. Though the blog name says Junky Chowmein, our craving for food goes much beyond these spicy strands of noodles. Can't be helped, i suppose, since the place where i work is situated at a prime location........scores of fast food joints wherever i turn my eyes.

Working in CP has definitely its pros and cons. Since it's centrally located, distance is not much of an issue. But the plethora of eating options is indeed a boon for me who loves to eat hot, spicy chaat to pizzas, burgers and what not. Well.... what not would include, non-veg, since i am not a big fan of them, though i do indulge in them occasionally.

So much thought for food!!! People will actually think that i exist only for this (especially my doctor). Just to clarify that's not the point here. Point is i wanted to put forward the thought about how much can you resist yourself when you're home or office is surrounded by places like Mcdonalds, Pizza Hut, those mobile vans serving hot spicy chowmein and other such places. Ever since the blog started, this was one question that was plaguing my mind. Do think about, while i think of some more interesting topics to write on the blog.

Bonded Labour!

On Mondays, my mind engages upon some deep thinking about the status of employees in this world. Please do not take offense at the title, this is sadly but truly the state of affairs for all us employees. While I'm working, (and, seriously I AM), I was thinking...

If everybody hates Mondays and research actually shows that Mondays are the least productive days, then why don't we make Mondays as a 'Getting-used-to-office-after-weekend-day'. We could just come to office as late as we can manage, loll around the work station, get used to the idea that there IS an office which HAS work and that has to be DONE by US. We could then toy around with our files and folders, gradually get ourselves in the work mood and then start working from Tuesday. Isn't that fun?

But,
Hey Bonded Labourer!
Thou shall not crib...
The power of whining
is nought for thee.

How dare thou,
fall sick or ill?
Do you not know?
You aren't allowed to feel.

Rima.

Monday...

Rushing through the data

On one dreary Monday

Longing for it to end

Our big fat book of fate..

La lala lala lalalal

Lalalla lalalal

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Chopped, Fried n Ready to Go......

Ya well... This is how it is. As so elegantly put forth by my colleagues..heaps of chowmein fried to its fullest and shaken up with a lot of soya sauce, has spelt salvation for us in this crazy relentless world, which in our case is dominated by a drone of a soft ware called..The Sigma Link.

Yes, it’s easy to use and a very convenient location to store tons of data...that the world can't simply do without. And we the workers ...aka employees ( I'm a bit of a communist in this regard and don’t think there is a much of a difference between the two words) have been assigned amongst us different regions of the  world to work with. So all of us, kings and queens of our parts of the world, hover around the wide expanses of our land...from 9:30 to 5:30 collecting all sorts of information in order to enrich our big fat book of knowledge.

Hence our blog is about..all that keeps us alive and provides us with the quintessential fuel to help us survive  the madness that surrounds us and makes us come back to work, sharp at 9:30 with a smile on our faces…ready to rule our land!

Let's heat the wok!

and that's the first step in all things that need a start up in life... Yes, almost everything. And the very obvious things that come to my mind is tiffs, quarrels, debates, arguments. Alright, it's the second day of the week and I'm predictably in a not-so-good mood. Why yes, I think I just seem to know what's heating me up?

Ingredient: This is the second week now that I'm off junk food, no burgers, no wraps, no fries, no dessert. This is a lethal blow to my pent up frustration levels, food for me is the biggest sedative and the biggest consolation, my calming agent.

Ingredient: I'm looking more and more rotund as the days go by, I'm drinking honey-lemon in lukewarm water, giving the elevator a royal ignore, add to that my minus-junk status and still my colleagues manage to look more fab than me. Read, slimmer and more shapely.

Ingredient: My husband's got these nagging fever since last weekend, he's missing office, he's a banker and this is the month ending, you add it all up and you get a real cranky human who prefers to flush out his toxins on me.

Ingredient: "ME" in office is tied up with the most mind-numbingly boring and gut-wrenchingly horrible software called Sigmalink. (Ok, it's not that bad but what the heck! the words add to the drama, its like soya sauce in street noodles, the more the better). Add to it the part that my boss is very good almost sweet at times and I so totally hate this. I mean, if only I could bad-mouth him and take out some of my frustration. Picture this, my boss asks me how many holidays am I planning to take in the coming Durga Puja or rather to start planning them soon, MY BOSS! So at the end of the day, when everything is one big heap of swirled and jumbled chowmein, my colleagues are a breather, they are the seasonings which makes life totally junky and my chowmein wholly palatable. Nirvana in office and my moksha with my colleagues... beat that, can you? If not, heat the wok! and get started.

Rima aka Rhyme